Monsters in the Closet

Before I became a mom, I used to wonder:  if monsters are so scary to kids, then why on Earth do we introduce kids to the idea of them?  Wouldn’t some parent who’s spent any number of sleepless nights scouring their nervous kid’s room for the damned imaginary things be kind enough to pass along the word -  “Dude, don’t talk ‘monsters’ to your kid!”?

Ah, but here’s the rub.  (There’s always a rub).  Would putting a moratorium on monsters make the dark any less scary?

For lots of people, the dark is, well... anxiety-provoking.  It sends our imaginations into fearful overdrive...something about the unknown.  Evil forces?  Fear of tripping over something on a late-night bathroom run?  A collective subconscious thing maybe, passed down from our ancestors who....oh geez, it just makes us feel anxious! 

Monsters.  That’s it, that’s what we’re afraid of.  Why?  Well, monsters are specific.  They have a face, a shape, a color.  We can chase them, reason with them, invite them to play, name them Betsy.  We can kick their ass.  Essentially, we’ve taken a generalized anxiety, personified it, made it specific, and in doing this we’ve disempowered the anxiety - and empowered ourselves.

Would this same model work for other anxieties?  What fear or anxiety is holding you back and interfering with your life?  Fear of failing?  Fear of not living up to expectations?  Something else?  It’s very easy to feel overwhelmed by anxiety, especially one we haven’t yet truly identified, and let it take us over, dictating what we do and don’t do.  What if you were to take your most limiting anxiety (seriously, do this with me now!), name it, imagine it wearing a silly outfit, and have a good old fashioned heart-to-heart with it.  Yes, exactly...you can walk it over to a chair and reason with it.  You could shove it into the closet and lock the door. Listen to it scream.  How fearsome does this anxiety feel to you now? 

The imagination is a powerful tool, one of the most powerful there is. Maybe it can’t fight off tangible threats like bee stings or fire, but so many of our scariest foes live and exist nowhere except right here in our heads.  Why let your imagination limit you, when you can get hold of it, harness it and put it to work for you, in all its boundless glory - monsters and all?

The Perpetual Rorschach

Are we all tired of the question that inevitably pops up here, there, and every place…are you a glass half full person, or glass half empty? (Me, I sometimes wonder why I can’t just get a full freakin’ glass!). Sure, it’s been done to death and then some, but there’s a reason. Our lives are complicated and, like the metaphorical glass or the infamous Rorschach ink blot, utterly subject to - if not defined by - interpretation.

I remember, growing up, hearing my parents speak in hushed tones (the same one used to discuss "cancer’) about a great national tragedy. Thousands and thousands of kids, filthy, strung out on illegal drugs, engaging in lewd and indiscriminate behavior. The hallmark of a horribly lost generation. And funny, it wasn’t til junior high that I heard tell of a fantabulous three-day rock festival, best bands in the world, thousands of kids dancing, singing, and helping each other out harmoniously through the adversity of scarce supplies. I think there were even some brand new babies born. Yes, a glorious icon of the generation…and realized it was the same event. In fact, I imagine there were still others that looked out at the same scene, and could hear nothing over the moo-ing from their newly discovered cash cow…the music festival! What an awesome new opportunity. Marketing strategies brewing, entrepreneurial engines revving.... One event, three valid but very different perceptions.

Ever been homebound in a snowstorm or blackout? Wasn’t it a huge pain the butt…all that food going bad in the fridge, no lights or tv, doing math in your head to figure out what it’s gonna cost you to fix the roof? Or was it an adventure…a time to break out the flashlights, light candles, play games, venture outside to see what the neighbors were up to, and as for that food going bad, three letters… BBQ!

There are lots more ways to illustrate, but the point is, at the end of the day, happiness comes down to a matter of perception. One person’s life isn’t necessarily any better or worse than anyone else’s. We all know some who seem to “have it all”, only to find out they’re miserable under the shiny, seemingly charmed surface. We also know those who’ve tackled all sorts of unpleasant or challenging circumstances, and kept their inner sparkle thru it all.

In a Rorschach, you see a building, I see a horse, he sees two turtles humping…we're all right, and yet the picture’s the same.

What’s one thing in your life you can change just by changing how you look at it? 

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up

Sure, the now iconic line always gets a laugh, but it’s also a pretty darned good umbrella statement as to how lots of Americans are feeling right now.

Certainly in economic terms, you may very well have fallen. But you will get up. Whether you slowly bring yourself back up to a standing position, jump right up, or take off running in a new direction - and whether there’s a pot of gold at the end of your metaphorical sprint - I can’t say. But you will get up.

I’m not an economist, and far from a financial guru (if such a thing still exists), but it doesn’t take one to see that things are bleak right now in terms of employment. Yet, as we fret that the collapse of corporate giants, the mushrooming uses of our “frenemy” the Internet, and an ever-increasing array of shiny, efficient toys of technology have taken our jobs away and that a huge vacuum of needed manpower has been created, it’s quite possible we’re not seeing the forest through the trees. (Yes, I’m just popping with metaphors today!).

Nature abhors a vacuum. I learned that in tenth grade chemistry class. “Nature abhors a vacuum”. People need to eat, pay their bills, pay for health insurance (whoa boy, let’s not go there!), and gas up their yachts. The only way to do that is by filling the employment vacuum. And so, my friends, herein is the golden opportunity for you to dust off your thinking caps, get smart, and get creative.

As change happens, new needs and thus new opportunities are all around us.

The advertising world as we know it, for example, has to suffer as DVR’s and on-demand services invite us to altogether skip those 15- and 30-second bathroom breaks that cost millions create and to air. Yet, advertising can’t die because products still need to be advertised in order to be sold. So the business model needs to change. In some ways it’s begun to (experiential marketing, anyone?). But, how else? We don’t know. Or at least I don’t know. Who’s gonna figure this out?

As new companies form and old powerhouses re-boot, who’s going to handle all the HR and staffing needs? Office space and décor? IT? Lots of health care reform options are on the table right now. Who’s going to handle all the administrative work at insurance companies? In the government? In your gastro guy’s office?

Maybe you have an entrepreneurial spirit, and instinctively look for hidden opportunity. Bless you, you’re in heaven right now. Maybe your inner humanitarian was squelched by your outer derivatives trader. Well, there are lots of people in need right now. Think there’s any way to combine your passion with your career skills?

Hell, maybe Gordon Gekko was right, and that greed is good. Ego, too. Sure, we mock it now that we’ve been burned by it in its ugliest forms (hi, AIG!). But greed, kept on a reasonable leash, is a great motivator. The big financial houses are based on greed…they make money by making money. It’s their business. What else going to drive them to restructure, reboot, revive the economy - and hire you to help them do it? What’s going to motivate you to start that new business, which in turn is going to re-employ the mom of three whose home would otherwise be foreclosed?

Sure, some things will stay more or less the same, but at the same time, some lessons have been learned, the financially mighty humbled, and some kinder, gentler, more meaningful motivators have begun to emerge. At the very least, it’s giving us the opportunity we often miss: to take stock of where we are, what we’re really about, and where it is we want to be. Need more motivation? Just remember, it was a tiny li’l old lady, in a tiny low-budget TV commercial, who introduced us to those now larger-than-life words, “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”